The heart-breaking subject of baby loss will be marked this week in Wānaka, as well as around the country.

Baby Loss Awareness Week (October 9-15) provides an opportunity for parents, families and whānau to come together and remember the lives of their babies who have died. 

A group of people, organised by Wānaka midwife Emily Sancha and local counsellor Liz Maluschnig, gathered on Sunday (October 12) at the baby memorial wall at the Wānaka cemetery for a candle lighting and remembrance ceremony.

The ceremony was followed by warm drinks and cupcakes made by Food for Love.

“Candles were lit, songs were sung, stories were shared and the lives of treasured babies were honoured,” Emily said.

The memorial, initiated by Shirley Rowley in 2011, contains plaques bearing the names of infants on a circular wall. Plaques can be ordered from the Queenstown Lakes District Council website. 

This week Wānaka’s regular Death Cafe will also honour Baby Loss Awareness Week. 

“We remember the babies born sleeping, those who were carried, for the shortest or longest time but never held, those who were held but could not be taken home, those who came home but could not stay,” Death Cafe facilitators Liz Maluschnig and Su Hoskin said.

Liz and Su said the Death Cafe is a discussion group rather than a grief support or counselling session. 

The event will take place at the Edgewater Pavilion from 1.30pm on Wednesday (October 15). All are welcome.

Also on Wednesday landmarks across Aotearoa will be lit up in pink, blue, and purple to remember babies who have been lost.

A local woman who has experienced baby loss told the Wānaka App she appreciated the efforts to mark Baby Loss Awareness Week.

“So much around baby loss has traditionally been cloaked in secrecy,” she said.

“It means when it happens, it is so shocking and isolating. Things are getting so much more open now which is great so this can only help keep that openness expanding.” 

She said Shirley Rowley was one of the people who made an effort to connect with her following the loss of her babies, to share her story and tell her about the baby memorial.

“I do feel it is important and useful to mark your baby's life somehow - in whatever way seems fitting and comfortable to yourself and your family if appropriate - just for your own sake really. It can help counteract that societal pressure to forget and move on for everyone else's comfort, in a personal way. It is not

fair to expect parents to deny or forget any of their children, but that attitude can still prevail.” 

PHOTO: Alpine Images